Getting a new band up and running FAST!

My new band got together for our first rehearsal. We didn’t have anything specific picked to play since this was the first time we’ve gotten together. We were feeling each out musically. I’m lucky that I’ve either played with each of these guys in old bands or in the studio. I have never played with them in this configuration. I wanted to get back to having a band full of friends first and not so much a business partnership like Poprocks and the Matt Poss band was. Even though I was friends with the people in these bands, we weren’t the type of friends that hung out and just enjoyed each other’s company. Even on the road. Conversations were kept to cracking jokes, and small talk. We were partners. If I was having a cookout I wouldn’t call these guys and vice versa. They would be welcome of course but they wouldn’t come anyway. What we all had in common music and a business together, along with respect.

After my tenure with the Matt Poss Band, I thought about what I was going to do next. I looked for my niche in the music scene here and I found it in a simple straight ahead Rock ‘n Roll band. Heavy on the pop side. I made a business plan to follow. I need a vehicle to sell my music and so do a few of the other members. So we’ll do about 1/3 original music from our upcoming album and the rest covers until we build our following and can slip more original music. My eye is making this a concert act, not a bar band. We’ll be a concert act that plays bars now and then. Four of the guys are writers. So we pick the material from what we have written and write new stuff that fits the band. Just because we write it doesn’t mean it’ll fit. That is fine. People can only listen to so many songs they don’t know, so slipping our stuff in between well known songs is the only way to do it. I have my niche defined and can describe what we do. The Finks are a rock n roll revival. Heavy on boogies and dance music with killer vocals and amazing guitarists. We’ll play boom-chuck, boom-chuck. The rhythm that makes white people dance. Ha!

The Finks. A Rock n Roll Revival

Isaiah Edwards – Vocalist and acoustic guitar

Tommy Dunn – Guitarist

Chris Taylor – Guitarist

Chris Schaff – Drums

George Ozier – Keyboards and Vocals

Yours truly, Sammy Roan on bass.

Playing Original and Covers that all meet a certain criteria:

  1. Dance speed. Nothing mid-tempo. Either it’s a fast song or a slow song.
  2. Pop songs in both original and covers. Easy to sing along with. Great melody.
  3. If the song has clever lyrics it is given a higher priority
  4. If the song has simple lyrics, they will be given a high priority. For example: I got a gal named Bonie Maronie, Land of 1000 dances, Gloria… We might not choose these but they will be in this vein.
  5. Songs about girls, cars, and partying.
  6. Songs that we can arrange to sound like the Finks are playing it and not the Finks trying to sound like the record. We are a concert act. We play covers our own way but easily recognizable. My video today will show an example of making a song fit the artist and not the other way around.

That is it as far as music. The next is image. Most of us are old enough that we can’t play rockstar so we’ll come off as Hipsters (hipster doofuses more than likely), This isn’t much of a stretch for these guys. Except Ike and Tommy who are young enough to pull it off. Just look hip. Ask yourself before picking your stage clothes “Is this Swanky?” Ha! But it’s true. This is the kind of band you could wear a fez and it wouldn’t be out of place.

Speaking of fezzes, I want one from Fez-O-Rama. If you’re feeling generous buy one for us. I’ll happily wear it onstage and make you the fez sponsor. In fact that goes for all of us. Sponsor a fez and we’ll MAKE A MATCHING DONATION of the price to the Make a Wish Foundation. In your name. We’ll take it off the top of the night’s pay. Plus we’ll make you a gold member of our “I’m a Fink Too” email list. You’ll get a few extra things, like free posters, tickets, download live shows or hear early demos. We’ll make it special for you.

We’ll play to our strengths. We don’t have a strong front man. Ike, who is an incredible singer, will get really good at by the time it’s all said and done but he’s not one to yell “Come on party people!” so we’ll just run all songs with no time between them. We’ll add sing alongs and shtick as we rehearse and some will just naturally come to the show. Remember we are “Entertainers” We do it with music mainly, but we can’t take ourselves so seriously that we can’t include the crowd. We’ll be the band you will make sure you don’t miss. A good time is what we’re about. With that good time you’ll dance, sing, be surprised, laughing with and at us sometimes, and you’re gonna hear some great music played by some of the best players around and a sound of their own. We won’t be able to be reproduced by another band. If you want a party kick-ass rock n roll show who will you call? The only one around. The Finks.

Now I have a plan to focus on. We all agreed to the same plan. Now no one will bring up a song that doesn’t fit and have their feeling hurt when you say “I love Iron Maiden too, but do they really fit?”

I made a CD of fifteen songs.  Schaff and Taylor both live over an hour and a half away so rehearsals will be tough. We’ll have to work on a lot in a short period of time. We “practice” at home. We come to “rehearsal” ready to play what we have learned and work out the kinks there. That is the difference between Practice and Rehearsal.

The CD’s are all the same. We start learning song number 1, then 2, 3, etc. This way we have all learned the same songs at the same time. If the bass player only learned the first nine songs, while everyone else learned twelve, we have at least learned the same songs and can run through one through nine easily. We take the time away from learning a song at rehearsal and put it into brainstorming how we can work the songs together, tweak the songs and show, or make it into a show piece. We work on the show at rehearsal. Making the music the best it can be is number-one, but a close second is the show. Knowing our stuff when we come in can turn a rehearsal into an hour and a half instead of three hours trying to learn and get a song down.

One thing we have thought about to make things run smoother is that it’s the digital age. The lyrics to covers are online. The guitarists can email or text “which harmony part do you want me to play?” or “What part are you going to play on the keys so I can play something else?” Knowing the tiny parts will save time in rehearsal.

We are pros. We show up on time with our tunes learned. The point is this. Rehearsal begins to suck after the band has been together for a bit. Keeping rehearsal to a minimum and not wasting someone’s time by making them wait on you will make things easier and it’ll stop a complaint that may grow into a full blown argument. You don’t want to be the weak link. When we get there, we tune up and catch up with each other, maybe have a beer or a smoke before getting down to business.

We do drink during rehearsal and it doesn’t seem to be a problem. If it’s an excuse to get drunk then once again you are wasting other’s time. Don’t be that guy. Save it for when you decide to go out afterwards. This band is a beer drinking band and some are 4:20 friendly. If it’s affecting your playing then once again you are being a pain in the ass and the guy slowing things down. So watch it.

While working up the show we’ll also have a professional photo shoot. We’ll have a website being constructed, we’ll have promo packs made up that look better than what the big rock stars use. I make these for booking agents, as packets to send to major record companies, and just to use for booking purposes. Hit me up to talk about making one for your band. Make a great impression with the pack and a buyer will be able to tell that you are pros and will need to be paid better than the jokers he had the night before. Start that hype machine. Talk to your friends about the band. Get people excited about hearing you. Getting in on the ground floor and watch a band rise on the ladder of success. They’ll be taking you with them.

By the time we are ready to book this band we’ll have all of our ducks in a row. We’ll be able to have great looking promo to book with. An album to promote. A great sounding studio recording for a demo. A group of people that want to hear us. Then we come on strong with a look, a sound and a non-stop show that hits you with a left and a right to the head with great songs.

When we spread out we’ll contact all the media and let them know we are coming so they can play a song of ours on the radio, give interviews on radio and the paper, possibly an acoustic song or two on a morning show. This is how you build a crowd in a new market. Let your friends and fans in those areas know you are going to be there and pull in all favors the first time in.

With a working attitude like that your band could be playing opening gigs after one rehearsal. Amazing but true.

This has nothing to do with the tips on running a band but I want to say a few personal views on this past week. Last Friday was the school shooting in Newtown, CT. My heart goes out to all of Newtown. A whole town in mourning. I took a break from working Tuesday and flipped on the TV. The Dr. Phil Show was on and he was interviewing, as he said “the youngest witness” For rating this asshole exploited this little girl of seven years old. She told her story and Dr. Phil did his caring imitation. I’m as liberal as they come and thing live and let live. Who am I to judge? But this blatant exploiting of a child pissed me off so much that I wrote down the sponsors of the show.

I wrote an open letter and sent it to the sponsors and people who advertized, telling them they should be ashamed for what they have done and I will not mention them in the blog if the make a donation to the Missing and Exploited Children Charity. Well it of course fell on deaf ears, all except one.

Shelby Motors of Champaign, IL. They are independently owned and have a budget that allows them to advertize on TV but they have no idea when it runs. I had sent the letter to them also because I saw their ad during the show.

Ms. Jennifer Shelby, the owner, wrote me back immediately. She explained not knowing when the ad would run and would never have supported a show where they exploited anyone. I told her I understood and was happy to let her off the hook. The next day I got a receipt in the mail showing a donation to The Missing and Exploited Children organization. She didn’t have to. I explained that I wasn’t upset with her since she had no idea. She did it anyway. I don’t know her at all but I will stop and meet her sometime and give her a sincere hug. Her caring attitude and loving heart made a difference to a child that day. I feel horrible for mis-placing blame on her but she didn’t donate out of guilt. She did it simply because Ms. Shelby cares about the world we live in and understands sometimes people have to rely on the kindness of strangers. She is a friend of mine now. I brag about her to my friends and have recommended her to a friend just this morning that were looking for a new car. I will shop with her. I will send anyone I know her way. She has character and sometimes I hang my head low in shame for being part of the human race and the coldness and hate we see much too often. People like her make me proud to be part of the human race.

There is always a ying and a yang, a positive and a negative. For all the tragedy I have seen in my life. The Oklahoma City bombing, 9/11, 7/7 in England, Columbine Shootings, New Orleans underwater, Hurricane Sandy, for every prick who caused these tragedies, there is always a flood of people rushing to help in any way they can. Ms. Shelby is one that I personally know of, who helped without wanting credit or a pat on the back. Well you have more than that from me. You have my complete respect as a generous business owner and as a generous and caring woman. You are a hero to a kid somewhere today Jennifer. What more could you ask for?

These businesses didn’t care enough to even reply. If they did it was a form letter. Toy’s R Us even lied to me. They said they don’t have email. I said you mean you have to send letters back and forth. They’ll call me in 7 to 9 business days. I asked them if they had phones or if they needed to run to the pay-phone across the street? I’m an asshole too remember.

  • Toys r Us (they hung up on me after sending me a form letter that never addressed my concern.)
  • Arm & Hammer
  • KFC
  • International Delight
  • Milo’s Kitchen Dog Treats,
  • Keuring
  • Payday
  • Macy’s
  • Menards
  • Steak and Shake
  • H.H. Gregg
  • Feeding America.org
  • Palmer’s Baby Oil

Here is an example of making the song fit the band and not the other way around;

fez

Chasing the Dragon Pt.2

When we last left our hero he was hanging around doing nothing musical, and nothing on the horizon.

When I was in Bootleg we hooked up with a sound-man named Bugsy. Bugs we lovingly referred to as “Grandpa.” He reminded me the other day that he was younger at the time than I am now. I feel his pain. Bugsy taught us all a lot. He had run with local legends Powder Mill Hill. The stories he told us about them and the places they played definitely set the bar high for me. I’ve since met Jerry Nichols, a member of Powder Mill Hill. I need to grab him for beers and talk about those times. To say he is a Rock Star in my mind is an understatement. I’m glad to know him. He played the Playboy Mansion!

I loved 60’s Soul Music. Sam and Dave, Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye. All the biggies. It was the Blues Brothers movie that introduced me to these guys. What if I put together a band that played these great songs? I asked the musicians I knew from out of town and they all thought I was crazy. It won’t work. Too big. You’ll never get paid enough to make any money. So I went back to the drawing board.

I grabbed George and Doug and put up an ad at Eastern Illinois’ music department. Looking for horn players. Two people answered. Mark Cornell and a very young Pat Lee. Trumpet and sax. It took a while to get all the ducks in a row and some personnel changes and adding another trumpet player, Shane Pitsch, to the mix. We met Chris Schaff after our first drummer quit over five dollars.we all pitched in for stamps for our band newsletter. Remember we didn’t have email in those days. After he left the band we hit every small town from here to Timbuktu. We got management; we cut our hair bought suits and then started playing festivals, high profile gigs, high paying private functions. All the while I was getting better as a guitarist. Now I had formed a killer band built around my love of the music and my lack of guitar playing skills. I was the lead guitarist and only played about three leads a night. We had great soloists. Chris moved and we grabbed Kent “Sweet Leaf” Aberle. We all got to ride the rise of very successful band. That slow rise made us very close.

I’m still close with these people. I talk to Pat weekly, Doug is always there and we don’t see each other enough, but when we do we picked up where we left off. Chris Scaff was a crazy mo fo in those days and we just loved him. I’m forming a band with him now. Shane is someone I miss and don’t talk to enough. George I see almost everyday. Sweet moved to Atlanta and I talk to him occasionally. We all fought like cats on a clothesline but there was true friendship. No one was sneaking around trying to replace someone out of personal reasons or envy. We were a band and we worked toward a common goal. That’s what I have done ever since. I’ll leave the petty jealousies to the insecure musicians that don’t have the good sense to realize you need to be unit. I’ve played with that band too and it doesn’t make for friends or band mates even. The prize is too magical to worry about your self all the time. I wish bands like that all the success in the world, but what good is it to celebrate something that you had to walk over others to get?

It is lonely at the top and people you can’t trust to work with really don’t need to be considered friends by me. You see the same folks on the way up as you do on the way down. I’m happy I can look at George, Bugsy, Kent, Chris Scaff, Chris Taylor, Doug, Pat, Mark, and Shane and know we did the best we could and we became brothers. We played to our strengths. We met and played with heroes, celebrities, and heads of state. We played places I never ever dreamed of. I played in the band for ten years before I moved on.

Being gone too much isn’t good for a marriage and I lost a wonderful wife in the process. Depression, gigging all the time. I don’t know what I could have done differently but ever since losing Shannon I’ve been trying to make it up to the world. She’s doing great. Remarried and a new baby. I see her about once a year and she always gives me the best hugs. I’ll always love her and would give her the world if I had it.

Speaking of love, I fell for a wonderfully beautiful woman in Ohio. Kathleen will probably be the love of my life and I lost her due to depression, lies, and most of all fear of leaving my band and friends. I’m older now and if she said “Yes” you’d never hear from me again. I’m pretty sure 90% of the love songs I write are inspired by her. She is my biggest regret.

I joined Poprocks. We made a conscious effort to focus on disco and new wave 80’s music. It was the demographic of the people who were spending money in the clubs. I had a ball with these guys. We played a million great gigs. I married the singer. She was an amazing performer. Communication was our problem, not music. If she would have let me know we were allowed to date while we were married I think things would have went better. Turns out she was the only one dating during our marriage. So I left that situation. The part that hurt the most was even though I was there for eight years only one of the members ever spoke to me again. Mike Poss you are a class act. Thank you.

Music was the cause and solution to all my problems. After Becca’s cheating and having my band mates and friends I knew through Poprocks ALL turn their backs on me, I decided to give it up. I moved into an apartment and threw my gear in the extra room and didn’t even listen to music for six months. I was a ghost to everyone I knew. Since I had nothing for them to take, I was pointless. I made new friends and contacted my old friends. Real friends.

Two years later I decided to play again. Joined 5 Gone Mad for a year. Became close with the singer Brandi Yagow and we talk quite a bit. She is one of my favorite people and one of the best singers I know. She sings lead on a couple of songs on my latest album.

Matt Poss called I took the gig had a ball and now am back to forming my own band again to play my music and the music that my friends have written that fit the band.

The points I want to make is this. I lost two wives. One great one and one cheating one. I made close friends with many people I have played with and have seen that some people weren’t really friends in the first place. But I can look myself in the mirror and know I didn’t fuck over anyone in this business. They all can’t do the same thing.

We have to remember the people we play with have problems from depression in my case to serious addictions. Be there for these people. Don’t turn your back on them. It may come back to bite you in the ass. Plus it just makes you suck as a person. I have a hard time thinking about the good times with Poprocks because the next thought is how they pretended to be my friends when in reality they only cared about themselves.

My friends, both musically and non-musicians now are true blue. We argue and laugh and make great music. This group of musicians that I surround myself with now have character. They are all flawed in many ways but they are actually great people. Not everyone can say that about their friends. I can. I’ll shout it to the world that I love these people and other musicians I grew up with. Jon Clarkson, Bobby Reynolds, and Dave Baldwin are all amazing and I can’t wait to play with you all again even if it is just in the studio or at Jam Night. Ike and Tommy were surprise friends I met when I moved. Unlimited talent and now I’m playing with them.

Was it worth it? Maybe. Probably. I’ve lived out my dreams and have seen and done more things than many people have ever thought about. On the down side, I have no kids, no wife, and at the moment am still nursing a broken heart from the last one I dated. I’m coming out of it and the next lady will hopefully have the balls to stick around through the good and the bad. Like the music, I think it’ll all work out in the end.

Pros
• I played with the greatest of friends.
• I played and met rock stars and R&B legends. I stood toe to toe with these guys and could hold my own.
• I saw places all over the world that I would have never seen
• I made a shitload of money
• All the people who let me entertain them for a few hours
• I can now make that “sound” even though I don’t make it often. My tastes have changed by being exposed to the music of my friends.
• Making my first album with Becca, and making my first solo album.

Cons
• Losing Shannon and Kathleen.
• Meeting and marrying Becca
• Realizing band mates aren’t the friends you thought they were. Along with the friends who hung with us.
• Driving from San Antonio straight thru to  my home in Illinois.
• Snow and Ice
• Slow nights
• Band fighting

I’m not saying it was worth it but it’s the life of this musician. Older and wiser and would do a few things different but I wouldn’t trade the memories of these times for all the gold in the world.

I made this video out of clips I had when I was in Poprocks. It was my Christmas present to them. Be warned!!!! There is nudity!!!! But it was all in good fun. No one was harmed by the flashing. If you are easily offended I have already written my disclaimer.

You have downloaded my CD right? I need the money to ask the dark haired girl out in the video! Please buy a song. She may be high maintenance.

Chasing the Dragon Pt.1

I’ve been pondering the reasons why I do what I do. The good and the bad that has come from living the life. The pitfalls, the glorious moments, the long drives, late nights, slow crowds, and playing arenas one night and then to the bar staff in some dive the next night.

I’m not sure this fits into a lesson or a tip but I hope that at the end you reflect on your choice. If that doesn’t work set your wife/husband or boy/girlfriend in front of the screen and maybe I can explain the reason or at least my view.

When I heard the opening chords to the Scorpions – Rock You Like a Hurricane, I knew I wanted to make that sound. The sound of cranked Marshall amps grabbed me by the heart and I’m not if it still doesn’t have a hold on it. I mowed yards that summer and saved up $200 dollars and went to the mall and I picked out a blonde Peavy T-15 guitar with an amp built into the case. I need to remember all that push mowing I did just to have the opportunity to capture that sound. I was fourteen. I don’t think I even had my first real kiss yet (No Janet, I won’t mention your name here) ***snicker***. It wasn’t girls, fame, drugs, or millions that started me playing. It was so simple. It was the sound that actually moved me.

My sister was dating Greg Ozier at the time. To me Greg is the king of all bass players. I feel like he can always play the sounds in his head. He lives two houses away now and I’m still his biggest fan. He showed me a power chord and a Black Sabbath album and let me take it from there. I had never heard of TAB, CDs were brand new and nobody had one, the Internet was decades away. I rewound the tape over and over. Greg showed me how to make my amp overdrive, and I was on my way! Then I got bored with it and put it under my bed.

I turned 16 and a friend had a drum set and could get a hold of a bass. We made Doug Evans play bass by default. He’s one of my favourite bass players in the world now. I was blessed by having people to play with who actually had talent. He learned the same time I did. Rod Plunket on drums. We were roadies, for free, for the band Encounter and they let us use their gear and guitars, plus a place to play them. We bugged the living hell out of Garrie Carlen, the lead guitarist for Encounter. Asking him a million dumb questions. Telling them they should be playing Motley Crue instead of Brian Adams. We were cocky SOBs for never having played anything except Paranoid and Wipe Out.

We met a guy named Merv Schrock who could sing. Merv, Rod, and Doug are still my closest friends. That little crappy band made best friends of us all. We actually got pretty good. We played a few shows… for free. Merv got a call from a popular band and quit. George Ozier, Greg’s brother had just moved into the area, and started playing guitar for Encounter. He was recovering from a divorce. We were beer drinking hoodlums, unlike Encounter who all had girlfriends and lives. Now George was hanging with us and he could play and sing. He taught us ALL our parts and we had a band. Bootleg. I was a bootleg tape lover. The tapes always sounded crappy and that was kind of a little joke that no one ever got.
Bootleg played a lot of gigs. Rod took off over a woman who didn’t understand that we wanted to make a certain sound. We went through some drummers but we weren’t very good so we just kind of quit playing.

So now I’m an OK guitarist with no band and no one lining up to play with a guy who was for all purposes a rhythm guitarist who couldn’t sing. I’ll tell the rest of my story in Pt2. Lets talk about the points boys and girls.

1. It was a sound or a riff that made me want to be a musician.
2. I learned that girls like guys who play guitar. They don’t like guys who play crappy guitar in a crappy band. It was years before getting girls just because you were in a really good band. They are there though. A definite plus.
3. There is a feeling. A release of endorphins when you are playing even the simplest of music together. When it’s good there is nothing but waves of sound that you just float on. You become totally in the moment. It makes you feel as good as any buzz I’ve ever had. Like all things, it needs to be handled with moderation. If you become addicted to that feeling … you become a musician.

My neighbour stopped in last week. I was watching a concert video of Frank Zappa. He sings karaoke, but doesn’t sing any other time. The Zappa Band was totally in the moment. They were on top of their game. Smiling, moving, eyes closed, having a ball playing some of the most difficult music ever written. He asked me “Does it do something to you when you are playing?” I’d never thought of it but I answered “Yeah I guess it does.”

All your feelings are released through your guitar. Anger, love, hate. It may just be in my own mind but I’m getting it out. I suffer from Clinical Depression and have had it for over twenty years. Even when I was so sick that I couldn’t hold a day job, I could play. For that moment I was standing next to band mates I trusted and I was safe and I was releasing my frustration and sadness through playing, leaving only feeling good. When you can get that feeling across to an audience they will return it. They will scream, yell, smile, and sing to you. They’ll tell you that you are great and want to do what it is that you do. To someone wanting to eat a bullet sometimes that’s all it took to keep you going till the next show. On a side note, my medication is working 100% and for the first time in twenty years I feel fuckin’ great! Those dark days are in the distance now.

I was told by my shrink that artists often deal with depression. I guess we wear our hearts on our sleeves and that’s where we pull from to be creative. It’s a bitch to write a woman a love song if you can’t imagine loving her. Anger and angst in the young. It’s what they feel strongest about, and their music reflects it. Anger and angst in the old is called Steve Earle. So take it easy on us. We are a fragile bunch of misfits who work their entire life around creating that feeling. It’s like chasing the dragon. Addiction can be a bitch.

I started with the Scorpions but from that tree I’ve learned to love a multiple styles, some more than others. This is what I’m into today as I write this. At this moment this is how a genuinely feel. I don’t understand the language but he must have been feeling it the day he wrote it. I wish I had written it. That would win the girl. Now wouldn’t it.

You have downloaded my CD right? I need the money.

Top 21 Rules on How to Tour in a Band or Whatever.

Here Is a quicky. I grabbed this from the Metal Sludge website. It was written by a touring musician. If you tour you’ll understand it. If you don’t then you’ll see the dynamic of touring in a van with the rest of the band and crew. It’s not a pretty article, but he’s totally right and brings up many thing’s we’ve talked about before. SO with that said, I copied and pasted it. There is plenty of foul language, so be warned.

Written by Thor Harris

How to Tour in a Band or Whatever

1-Don’t Complain. Bitching, moaning, whining is tour cancer. If something is wrong fix it or shut the fuck up you fucking dick. God-damn.

2-If you fart, claim it.

3-Don’t lose shit. Everybody loses shit. Don’t fucking do it. Asshole.

4-Don’t fuck anyone in the band. There are tons of people to fuck who are not in this band. Dumb-ass.

5-If you feel like shit all the time, drink less beer at the gig. You will play better & feel better. What are you… a child? Some have the endurance for self abuse. Most don’t.

6-Remember the soundman’s name. He will do a better job.

7- Eat oranges. Cures constipation & prevents colds.

8-Masturbate. Duh… Where & when? Be creative. You’re an artist right?

9-If YOU can’t carry your suitcase 3 blocks, it’s too god-damn big.

10-Respect public space in the van. Don’t clutter, you Fuck.

11-If you borrow something, return it. Not Fucked Up.

12-Do not let the promoter dick you or talk you out of the guarantee. If there were not enough people there, it’s their fault.

13- Driver picks the music.

14-One navigator only (usually sitting shotgun). Everyone else shut the fuck up.

15-Sound check is for checking sounds. Shut the fuck up while everyone else is checking.

16-Don’t wander off. Let someone know where you are.

17-Clean up after yourself. What are you… a god-damn toddler?

18-Touring makes everyone bi-polar. Ride the waves as best you can and remember, moods pass. So don’t make any snap decisions or declarations when you are drunk or insane.

19-Fast food is Poison.

20-The guest list is for friends, family & people you might want to fuck. Everyone else can pay. They have day jobs.

21- Don’t evaluate your whole life while you’re sitting in a janitor closet waiting to go on. You think you’re above having shitty days at work? Shut up & do your god-damn job.

This list was written under the influence of lots of esspresso & anti-depressants while on tour w/ such greats as Shearwater, Swans, Smog, Lisa Germano, Angels of Light, Bill Callahan & many more. I hope this list will help you get along w/ your co-workers whatever your job is. Contributions to the list by Jordan Geiger, Kimberly Burke, Brian Orloff, Brian Phillips Celebrity Gang Bang, Kevin Schneider, Jonathan Meiburg, Michael Gira and some other folks.

Thanks for not being an asshole, Thor Harris

Now for my part. Corny and as staged as this video is there are plenty of real moments. The scene at the end where the dressing room is in a locker room, the van, the hotel, take away the plane and the tour bus and you pretty much have it. Now go see a million faces and rock them all!

You have downloaded my CD right? I need the money.